Health & Sex Kinkston Uncategorized

How To Survive the Halloween Walk of Shame

Loudly Magazine has your back this Halloween--follow Shannon Moyer's tips to avoid a costume-clad walk of shame on 1 November.

Maybe you spent days working on your costume. Maybe you picked it up on the way to the party. Either way, walking home from a sexcapade in a costume is like wearing a flashing neon sign that reads, “I HAD SEX WITH A STRANGER.”

Thankfully, avoiding this situation only takes a bit of planning – and if you find yourself in this situation, don’t worry, we have you covered.

  1. Plan your outfit ahead of time.

That tight nurse’s outfit that would get you kicked out of any hospital might look amazing at 11 pm on the 31st, but will scream your sexual experiences to the world at 6 am. on 1 November.

Before you leave for your Halloween party, ask yourself, “How can I wear this tomorrow?” Sometimes, it’s as easy as bringing along a long coat for the chilly morning or choosing an outfit with removable accessories. If you can, bring a decent-sized purse with you containing new underwear, makeup-removing wipes, and a pair of leggings for the next day. This way, you can simply pass as a tired commuter the next day.

  1. Wear comfortable shoes.

Few things are worse in life than walking home, hungover, in heels. When choosing your footwear, think about practicality before appearance.

Look for a pair of flats or thick-wedged heels – but make sure they’re worn-in enough to avoid blisters! If you must wear those stilettos, try to pack a thin pair of flats in your purse before you leave. Your feet will thank you, and you’ll look less conspicuous on the street the next day!

  1. Choose ridesharing over public transportation

Maybe you didn’t plan ahead (we’re not judging) or you got so drunk that you lost your carefully packed bag (hey, it happens). If your bank account isn’t depleted from your night of partying, splurge on an Uber ride to get home. You’ll still have to awkwardly walk from the car to your flat, but you’ll be in the public eye for much less time.

  1. Plan your escape early

The last thing you want to do when you’re hungover is wake up early, but it can be worth it. Try to leave before the morning commute starts around 6 am to avoid the traffic and judgmental stares. Look for what night buses are running and just go – most people who are awake at this hour are either too tired to care, or in a similar situation as yourself. Plus, you can sleep in your own flat much more comfortably, anyways.

  1. Don’t care what people think

Maybe you woke up mid-morning in that skin-tight catsuit, no spare clothes to be found and a pair of stilettos by the door. You’re skint, your Oyster is depleted and you know any Uber request would be declined. But you need to get home.

Sometimes, there’s no option but to walk and wear that make-believe “I HAD SEX” sign around your neck. In this case, you need to rely on your confidence – or fake it until you make it.

Everyone has sex. There’s nothing wrong with being a sexual being – you just happened to do it on Halloween. Even if people look, stare or comment on your outfit, it doesn’t change the fact that you have nothing to be embarrassed about. They might have been in the same situation before, or jealous, or any other combination of situations.

Just hold your head high and make your way home. They’ll forget about you in a few minutes, and you’ll be home soon enough anyways.